wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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