Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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