Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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