I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
