I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
