fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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