Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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