Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
