i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
