he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
