Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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