It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
