i was born a porn star she said
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
