Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
