No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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