i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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