I hate your face
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
