after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
