just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This can only be settled by a dance off.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
