he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
