Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
