OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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