I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You are the jesus of drinking
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
