i permit you to call me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
