Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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