apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
