the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
