9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
