I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
