road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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