i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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