I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
