a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
