why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
