Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
