i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
