Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
