he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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