I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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