people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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