This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
