I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
