what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
