Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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