"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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