R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
