I just cut my nipple shaving
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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