I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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