His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
