Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
