Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
