I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
