I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Less talking, more tequila
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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