Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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