I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
