Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Randomize
